Polygapotamus?!

Polygapotamus?!

"One three-ton hubby is not enough for this red hot mammal. The polygamous hippopotamus, when Sick, Sad World returns."

Hippos, like Iron Age warlords and cult leaders, like to preside over multiple wives. A bull hippo is not an equal opportunity kind of guy. He uses his massive bulk and his terrifying teeth to keep all the female hippos in a certain stretch of the river for himself and himself alone. Any young bucks who want to meander through his part of the river had better behave with conspicuous respect, or they'll find themselves in a world of hurt before you could say “enraged bull hippo.”

It's safe to say that female hippos have not been exposed to feminist thinking. But what if they were? Could some Margaret Thatcher of the hippo world not only survive but thrive in the role of the “bull,” taking on multiple husbands?

 

If you think about it, it might actually be a better deal for the majority of the hippo males, who currently don't get a chance to mate unless they can somehow unseat the reigning bull. But it would probably also cause a huge decrease in the overall hippo population in that area, because any female hippo warlord could only have a certain number of hippo babies in the works at a single time, whereas a bull hippo can impregnate all his females at once if he wants to. Maybe the hippo revolution should aim at equal mating opportunities for all hippos on the river, instead of simply replacing a male warlord with a female one. But try telling that to Margaret Thatcher.